I was going to write a long descriptive post about Jake’s unveiling on Sunday. I can only say that no parent should have to look on something like this:
We had our closest friends and family surrounding us. Jake’s spirit hovered over the gathering in the cold winter sunshine. It didn’t make it any easier. Rest in peace, Jakey Jake.
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About edcol52
The Infinite Fountain of Love and Loss flows unceasingly into the pool of memory and sorrow. I created this blog in response to the most dreadful tragedy every parent fears, the death of a child, our 24 year old son, Jake. We are now on an unimagined journey along this road of grief and recovery. If you can find some comfort within these pages, than I will have succeeded in some small measure.
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I’m glad the sun shone on you. Please can I ask what the significance of the pebbles is? I’ve seen the same on other graves near my sister, and I’m curious – I guess it’s a gesture of remembrance but I’d like to understand more.
RIP beautiful marker so sorry you had to place one. I love the pebbles. I’ve seen so many with quarters.
“The stones are to mark the place and to show that we were there. That someone remembers. As if we could ever forget.” From the post “Shloshim” January 29th. Thank you for your kind thoughts.
For us it felt like one more level of separation from Melinda. It’s a beautiful marker. Wishing you peaceful days ahead
Mira – It is odd. Yes, on one level it was, as someone remarked, a threshold that we crossed. But as far as being separated from Jake, I don’t know if that holds for me. As time passes, and we get farther away from ‘that day’, I find some days I am closer to him, and some days it is as if he never existed. it isn’t an even continuum. Of course, he did exist and we hold his memory close, but it is only a memory now. Strange how things are, and how they change from moment to moment. Peace to you during this trying time of the year.
I thought I was the only one who had days that it feels like Zachary were never born. It is amazing how your thoughts often seem to intertwine with mine. I am only sorry we are connected through such a sad way. The marker is beautiful, as are the pebbles. Wishing you peace and strength to manage through the holiday season.
I also sometimes have the same feeling/terror…that Graham never really existed. I just don’t understand how our children can be gone. It’s especially difficult since they had no time to leave a legacy …
The first line of Hebrew is Jake’s Hebrew name: Yakov Shmuel ben Yitzhad ha Cohen – Jacob Samuel son of Isaac, the Cohen. The second line from right to left is the Hebrew date of his passing, and the five letters on the left stand for the saying “May his soul be bound up in the bond of eternal life.”
But they did have time to leave a legacy, no matter how truncated it may be. They left a legacy of memories in the people that loved them. They left a legacy of caring and friendship. There are people in this world that will never forget Jake or Graham or any of the beautiful brilliant children departed too soon, no matter what. They left the legacy of the people they impacted with their friendship and fellowship. The bright light they shone on everyone around them. The way they could illuminate a room simply by walking into it. Their legacy is something we now have the responsibility of maintaining. I will never understand how this happened, how our lives turned out like this. It makes no sense. So we live in this topsy-turvy universe as best we can. Oh, they existed. More than that; they didn’t merely exist. They lived.
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