January 2, 2014

Today I looked out my window in the morning and saw Jake in the golden sunrise in the top of his redwood tree, in a miraculous flock of birds that swept through our yard this afternoon, in the brightest star in the sky, Sirius, flashing blue, red, white, blue, white, red, and in the laughter and love of the people that filled our house this evening. Thank you everyone, friends, family, and all the people who have posted here. Your love is what is keeping us going right now. We are truly blessed to have all of you in our lives.

To everyone who attended Jake’s funeral on Tuesday. We are overwhelmed and humbled by your outpouring of love and support. We only regret that we couldn’t spend a moment with each and every one of you. There were so many. Just know that we are so grateful for your presence, and please find time now and then to stay in touch with us, somehow. I know there were people there that I didn’t know well, hadn’t met before, and if we didn’t get a chance to share a word or a hug with you, please let us know who you are and that you were there.

To all of Jake’s Friends. Know that our door is always open for you. There is always a meal to be shared, a word to be spoken, a laugh to be had. Come by and share your memories of Jake whenever you need. He loved all of you, and so do we. You are all part of his light. Please share this.

Okay, yeah. I know that we are supposed to keep our loved one’s spirit alive in our hearts, that he doesn’t really die as long as we remember him, we’re supposed to bring light into the world, yadda, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah. Bullshit. You can’t hug a spirit, and you can’t share a pastrami sandwich with a memory. Goddammit, I want him back.

Originally posted on Facebook January 2, 2014