Tag Archives: stagesofgrief

A New Stage

I have encountered a new stage of grief. There have been volumes written on these stages, or more accurately phases. We don’t go through them step by step, but rather by turns, and I mean twists and turns, looping back … Continue reading

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Grief, Jake Colman, Jake's Spirit, Memory, Sadness | Tagged , , , , | 59 Comments

The Art of Presence – New York Times Article

Here is a link to a great article about helping people who grieve. As I wrote earlier, just being there is often enough, but when it isn’t, here are some guidelines for action. There is an interesting point made about … Continue reading

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Friends and Family, Grief, Healing, Kindness, Print Article, Support, Tragedy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Duck Billed Platitudes

There is a reason that during the traditional shiva, the 7 days of mourning following the funeral of a loved one, visitors to the shiva house are not supposed to speak to the mourners. There is absolutely nothing anyone can … Continue reading

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Friends and Family, Grief, Healing, Observations, Support, Tragedy | Tagged , , , , , , | 7 Comments

The Teacup

We drove north on Pacific Coast Highway from LA to Ojai yesterday. Passing through the familiar stretch above the Ventura county line. The mottled cloud cover turned the ocean a flat leaden gray, and drained all the color out of … Continue reading

Posted in Grief, Memory, Observations, Tragedy | Tagged , , , , , , | 7 Comments

A Peculiar Paradox

Somehow, I have not yet been able to reconcile the fact that our son is truly gone with the fact that he seems so close at times. I look at the belongings we brought back from Palm Springs, three huge … Continue reading

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Friends and Family, Grief, Healing, Jake's Spirit, Memory, Tragedy | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Marking Time

January 18 I mark time very differently now. There is the ‘Before’ and the ‘From Now On’. Very different lives. My expectations have been dashed, it is difficult to let them go. Thankfully, we have a marvelously strong, caring and … Continue reading

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At the Seaside

January 17 I am sitting by the shore of an infinite ocean. The sun shines down on the golden sand where children splash in the shallow, gentle waves, parents watching their antics. Young men play with frisbees, pretty girls sun … Continue reading

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Grief, Past Facebook Post, Poetry, Tragedy, Visions | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Saudade

Saudade (European Portuguese: [sɐwˈðaðɨ], Brazilian Portuguese: [sawˈdadi] or [sawˈdadʒi], Galician: [sawˈðaðe]; plural saudades)[1] is a Portuguese and Galician word that has no direct translation in English. It describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic or deeply melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing … Continue reading

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One More Day

January 14 I walked out into the warm Los Angeles morning today. The lemon yellow sun was streaming clear low winter light from the perfectly blue sky. I asked our rabbi, who had come over to visit us, how can … Continue reading

Posted in Friends and Family, Friends Write, Grief, Healing, Honoring Jake, Jake Colman, Memory, Past Facebook Post, Support | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Arrangements

January 13 Bittersweet. Today we went to “arrange” for Jake’s marker stone. Looking at fonts, finishes, stones, working out the text, like we were designing some ghastly business card. Just another surreal episode in this Bizzaro world we now inhabit. … Continue reading

Posted in Ceremony, Friends and Family, Grief, Honoring Jake, Jake's Spirit, Memory, Past Facebook Post, Sadness, Support, Tragedy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment