Author Archives: edcol52

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About edcol52

The Infinite Fountain of Love and Loss flows unceasingly into the pool of memory and sorrow. I created this blog in response to the most dreadful tragedy every parent fears, the death of a child, our 24 year old son, Jake. We are now on an unimagined journey along this road of grief and recovery. If you can find some comfort within these pages, than I will have succeeded in some small measure.

Jake’s Birthday

Posted on August 20, 2014 by edcol52

Yesterday was Jake’s 25th birthday. Somehow we made it through without imploding, vaporizing, or disintegrating. We went for juicy pastrami sandwiches dripping with coleslaw on fresh crusty rye for lunch at Langer’s, an old-school deli in downtown LA. Jake would … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Food, Friends and Family, Healing, Honoring Jake, Jake Colman, Jake's Spirit, Memory | 6 Comments

Two Birthdays

Posted on August 18, 2014 by edcol52

One of the perks of being Jewish is that you have two birthdays. The calendar we are most familiar, actually called the Gregorian calendar, is a solar-based calendar and divides each year up into the familiar 365 days, 52 weeks, … Continue reading →

Posted in Ceremony, Daily Ramblings, Food, Friends and Family, Honoring Jake, Jake Colman, Jake's Spirit, Sadness | Tagged , , , | 8 Comments

Losing My Voice

Posted on August 3, 2014 by edcol52

Where does the time go? I have read that it takes 21 days to create a habit. That is if you want to start doing something, do it consistently for 21 days, and you will create the habit to continue … Continue reading →

Posted in Daily Ramblings, Friends and Family, Grief, Honoring Jake, Jake Colman, Memory, Observations, Poetry, Progress | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Finding the Words

Posted on July 29, 2014 by edcol52

This is an excellent article appearing in the New Yorker online. Poet Edward Hirsch writes about the loss of his son, Gabriel at age twenty-two. It is a moving and thought-provoking piece. What is uncanny is that some of the … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Grief, Jake's Spirit, Other Media, Poetry, Print Article, Sadness | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

The Physical Toll of Grief

Posted on July 2, 2014 by edcol52

Yesterday was June 28th. Exactly six months, twenty-six weeks, since our beloved son died. Twenty-six joyless Shabbats. Twenty-six dreaded Saturday mornings. One hundred eighty-two days I have had to live in this world without Jake. It still doesn’t seem possible. … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Grief, Progress, Sadness | Tagged , , , , | 8 Comments

I Can’t Promote This Book Enough

Posted on June 24, 2014 by edcol52

Originally posted on My Bright Shining Star:
I have mentioned this book before because I used an article of the author’s in my book, but I have just finished it today and I’m totally convinced that if I had known…

Posted in Jake Colman | 1 Comment

Father’s Day, 2014

Posted on June 17, 2014 by edcol52

Yesterday was another first. My first Father’s Day without my son. To rephrase that, my first Father’s Day without my son alive. As days go, it was okay, difficult but okay. I dedicated the day to my son, Jake, who … Continue reading →

Posted in Ceremony, Daily Ramblings, Food, Honoring Jake, Jake Colman, Memory | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

The Secret Club

Posted on June 16, 2014 by edcol52

Originally posted on Dear Elena:
Every year, there’s a friend who has had or adopted a child in the past year and is celebrating his first Father’s Day as a father. This year Jonathan and GI joined this club. “Welcome,”…

Posted in Jake Colman | Leave a comment

It’s Not Getting Any Easier

Posted on June 14, 2014 by edcol52

This has been a very arduous couple of weeks, full of ups and downs. We have been renovating our guest house, the place where Jake lived on and off for the past few years. Going through his belongings left there … Continue reading →

Posted in Ceremony, Coping, Grief, Honoring Jake, Jake Colman, Memory, Sadness | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Acceptance: The Holy Grail of the Grief Process

Posted on June 6, 2014 by edcol52

Originally posted on A Working Grief:
It’s now approaching 13 months since we lost Melinda.  We’ve done all the “firsts” that everyone said would be the worst, and we’re now into year 2.  It’s no better, no easier, no less…

Posted in Jake Colman | 1 Comment