Author Archives: edcol52

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About edcol52

The Infinite Fountain of Love and Loss flows unceasingly into the pool of memory and sorrow. I created this blog in response to the most dreadful tragedy every parent fears, the death of a child, our 24 year old son, Jake. We are now on an unimagined journey along this road of grief and recovery. If you can find some comfort within these pages, than I will have succeeded in some small measure.

A Community of Sorrow

Posted on February 20, 2014 by edcol52

Since Jake’s death less than eight weeks ago, we have become members of a very exclusive group. It is part of a society that everyone joins sooner or later, but no one really thinks about it much. The Grief Community. … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Friends and Family, Grief, Healing, Jake Colman, Support | Tagged , , , , | 12 Comments

Pages in a Journal

Posted on February 19, 2014 by edcol52

I have been looking at some of Jake’s journals from the past couple of years. In each one, the first 5, 10, 15 pages are filled with the most diverse writings. Philosophy, ramblings, shopping lists, recipes, lists of people’s phone … Continue reading →

Posted in Daily Ramblings, Grief, Jake Colman, Jake Writes, Memory, Sadness | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Ambushed!

Posted on February 17, 2014 by edcol52

Today started off just fine. Clear sky, bright yellow sunlight. Everything seemed to be okay. We had a lovely time the previous evening at our friends’ house, eating corned beef hash (one of Jake’s favorites) popping popcorn and watching, or more … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Dreams, Friends and Family, Grief, Healing, Jake Colman, Memory, Sadness | Tagged , , , , , | 9 Comments

Cycles

Posted on February 16, 2014 by edcol52

Life is filled with cycles. There is the cycle of the seasons throughout the year, spring, summer, autumn, winter. The cycle of months. There is the cycle of the days in the week. Within each day is the cycle of … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Grief, Healing, Jake Colman, Memory, Observations, Sadness, Tragedy | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Another Shabbat

Posted on February 14, 2014 by edcol52

Today was another unremarkable day. I guess that is also progress of a sort. A little puttering around the house, lunch with Terry, and a walk along the jetty in the afternoon. It was one of those beautiful Los Angeles … Continue reading →

Posted in Daily Ramblings, Friends and Family, Grief, Jake Colman, Jake's Spirit, Memory, Progress, Sadness | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

What’s the Lesson?

Posted on February 13, 2014 by edcol52

This morning I found this post and photo on my Facebook feed from Jessie E., (the girl in the lower left of the picture) a long time friend of Jake’s: Liebe Ed and Terry, I am currently in the process … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Friends and Family, Friends Write, Grief, Honoring Jake, Kindness, Memory, Photography, Sadness, Support | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Foggy Days

Posted on February 12, 2014 by edcol52

Yesterday passed in a fog. Outside and inside. When I left the house in the morning, the ocean fog blanketed the world in its grey mantle, softening shapes and sounds. I couldn’t see much more than a couple of hundred … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Dreams, Grief, Jake's Spirit, Memory, Observations, Sadness, Tragedy | Tagged , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Books and Bowls

Posted on February 10, 2014 by edcol52

Today I got two stacks of letters ready to mail. The first was made up of some bills Jake left behind. I wrote a brief letter explaining the situation to the creditors and printed copies of the death certificate. Seeing … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Food, Friends and Family, Grief, Healing, Honoring Jake, Jake's Library, Jake's Spirit, Kindness, Memory, Progress, Support | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Forever Young

Posted on February 8, 2014 by edcol52

In reading some of the “grief literature”, and in comments and discussions I have seen, I have learned some new terms. “Grief Spasms”, those paroxysms of anguish that grip, periodically often without warning. “Chronic Sorrow” describes exactly what condition a … Continue reading →

Posted in Ceremony, Coping, Daily Ramblings, Friends and Family, Grief, Healing, Jake's Spirit, Memory, Progress, Sadness | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

Morning, Afternoon, Evening

Posted on February 6, 2014 by edcol52

Mornings are the hardest. Except it gets bad in the afternoon, and evenings are the worst. There is no time of day when I don’t miss him. What concerns me, is that as time slides by, I don’t miss him … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Food, Friends and Family, Golf, Grief, Healing, Jake Colman, Jake's Library, Jake's Spirit, Memory, Photography, Progress, Sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments