Category Archives: Memory

Kaddish

Today I went to shul to say Kaddish for Jake on the one month anniversary of his death. The Mourner’s Kaddish is one of the most famous prayers in all of Judaism. What is unusual for a prayer said in … Continue reading

Posted in Ceremony, Coping, Daily Ramblings, Honoring Jake, Jake Colman, Jake's Spirit, Memory, Observations, Tragedy | Tagged , , , , , | 11 Comments

Relativity

Tomorrow, it will be one month since that dreadful telephone call. The details of which are seared into my memory for all time. It is all so fresh, I can’t believe the time has passed. But time is always relative. … Continue reading

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Friends and Family, Grief, Healing, Jake's Spirit, Memory, Support, Tragedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

These Days

At times, these days, I’m certain that I hear Or think I hear your tread upon the floor But when I glance from ‘neath my silent tear ‘Tis but a breath of air, and nothing more. Do I now sense … Continue reading

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Shabbat #4

Yesterday was mostly uneventful. Which, right now, is a good thing. We had our ‘California Breakfast’ of grapefruit and oranges from the tree, yogurt and bananas and strong black coffee, on the patio. Our friends, the birds, flitted about and … Continue reading

Posted in Ceremony, Coping, Daily Ramblings, Friends and Family, Grief, Jake's Spirit, Memory, Observations, Tragedy | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The Teacup

We drove north on Pacific Coast Highway from LA to Ojai yesterday. Passing through the familiar stretch above the Ventura county line. The mottled cloud cover turned the ocean a flat leaden gray, and drained all the color out of … Continue reading

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A Peculiar Paradox

Somehow, I have not yet been able to reconcile the fact that our son is truly gone with the fact that he seems so close at times. I look at the belongings we brought back from Palm Springs, three huge … Continue reading

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Saudade

Saudade (European Portuguese: [sɐwˈðaðɨ], Brazilian Portuguese: [sawˈdadi] or [sawˈdadʒi], Galician: [sawˈðaðe]; plural saudades)[1] is a Portuguese and Galician word that has no direct translation in English. It describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic or deeply melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing … Continue reading

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One More Day

January 14 I walked out into the warm Los Angeles morning today. The lemon yellow sun was streaming clear low winter light from the perfectly blue sky. I asked our rabbi, who had come over to visit us, how can … Continue reading

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Arrangements

January 13 Bittersweet. Today we went to “arrange” for Jake’s marker stone. Looking at fonts, finishes, stones, working out the text, like we were designing some ghastly business card. Just another surreal episode in this Bizzaro world we now inhabit. … Continue reading

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Pizza Quest

January 12 Today was by turns a bit better and just as bad. We went for coffee along Abbot Kinney, just to get out. It is difficult to walk around in this new world, but necessary. The coffee wasn’t very … Continue reading

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