Category Archives: Daily Ramblings

Fifteen

Posted on April 11, 2014 by edcol52

It has been a confused week since my last post. So many things to write about and yet so little change overall. I have been missing Jake hugely for the past several days; the intensity seems to be building. My … Continue reading →

Posted in Ceremony, Daily Ramblings, Food, Golf, Grief, Honoring Jake, Jake Colman, Memory, Sadness | 7 Comments

One of Those Days

Posted on April 2, 2014 by edcol52

I haven’t had any really happy days since December 28. I have had somewhat pleasant days, neutral days, numb days, indifferent days, and sad days. For some reason, today is one of the sad ones. I can’t quite place my … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Friends and Family, Grief, Jake Colman, Memory, Sadness | Tagged , , , | 15 Comments

So Many Words

Posted on March 28, 2014 by edcol52

Today is the 3-month anniversary of Jake’s death. It is still difficult to believe he is gone. In these past three months, I have written many words, this post will take me past the 30,000 mark, posted hundreds of pictures, … Continue reading →

Posted in Ceremony, Coping, Daily Ramblings, Friends and Family, Golf, Honoring Jake, Jake Colman, Memory | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Ojai Vignettes, Part 1

Posted on March 18, 2014 by edcol52

Driving north on Highway 1 again. Through the same blackened and blasted landscape of six weeks ago. Today, the charred hillsides wore the gauzy green mantle of new growth that signifies Spring in California. My internal landscape was slightly less … Continue reading →

Posted in Daily Ramblings, Food, Honoring Jake, Jake Colman, Memory, Photography, Sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

You’re Okay, I’m Not Okay

Posted on March 15, 2014 by edcol52

What do I say to the person who asks, “How are you doing?” The question is such a reflexive conversational device. People ask without even thinking. Most of them listen to the reply without really hearing what you are saying, … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Friends and Family, Grief, Jake Colman, Sadness, Support | Tagged , , , , | 9 Comments

Exactly the Same and Completely Different

Posted on March 12, 2014 by edcol52

As I have noted, many of the blogs I read resonate with me. All of the parents in the “lost children” club use many of the same words, metaphors, and analogies to describe their experiences. Externally, we seem to be … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Friends and Family, Grief, Healing, Jake Colman, Support | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

River of Tears

Posted on March 8, 2014 by edcol52

A piece of the chorus of this Bonnie Raitt song keeps going through my head today. “River of Tears/Oceans of Heartbreak.” It is a song about a breakup of love, the rest of the lyrics don’t exactly apply, but what … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Grief, Jake Colman, Memory, Sadness | Tagged , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Just Grinding Along

Posted on March 5, 2014 by edcol52

Yeah, that’s how these past few days felt. Just grinding along. Crossing off the days one by one. I have settled into a sort of routine now. Up at 6:35 during the week. Shul by 6:45, Kaddish, and home by 7:15. … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Dreams, Healing, Honoring Jake, Jake Colman, Photography, Progress | 4 Comments

Missin’ You

Posted on March 3, 2014 by edcol52

It’s curious how this works, I still haven’t figured it out. Granted, I am very new at this, but it is all a mystery. Last night we had dinner at our friend’s house. These are people who knew Jake well; … Continue reading →

Posted in Daily Ramblings, Dreams, Food, Friends and Family, Grief, Memory, Sadness | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

Last Times, First Times

Posted on March 2, 2014 by edcol52

Another week, another Shabbat, another month past and gone. And yet, it still seems like a moment ago that we learned of Jake’s untimely death. What have I gleaned in this past two months? Not much, other than human beings … Continue reading →

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