Tag Archives: suddendeath

The Teacup

Posted on January 22, 2014 by edcol52

We drove north on Pacific Coast Highway from LA to Ojai yesterday. Passing through the familiar stretch above the Ventura county line. The mottled cloud cover turned the ocean a flat leaden gray, and drained all the color out of … Continue reading →

Posted in Grief, Memory, Observations, Tragedy | Tagged , , , , , , | 7 Comments

A Peculiar Paradox

Posted on January 21, 2014 by edcol52

Somehow, I have not yet been able to reconcile the fact that our son is truly gone with the fact that he seems so close at times. I look at the belongings we brought back from Palm Springs, three huge … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Friends and Family, Grief, Healing, Jake's Spirit, Memory, Tragedy | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Marking Time

Posted on January 21, 2014 by edcol52

January 18 I mark time very differently now. There is the ‘Before’ and the ‘From Now On’. Very different lives. My expectations have been dashed, it is difficult to let them go. Thankfully, we have a marvelously strong, caring and … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Friends and Family, Grief, Jake Colman, Past Facebook Post, Progress, Tragedy | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

At the Seaside

Posted on January 21, 2014 by edcol52

January 17 I am sitting by the shore of an infinite ocean. The sun shines down on the golden sand where children splash in the shallow, gentle waves, parents watching their antics. Young men play with frisbees, pretty girls sun … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Grief, Past Facebook Post, Poetry, Tragedy, Visions | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Saudade

Posted on January 21, 2014 by edcol52

Saudade (European Portuguese: [sɐwˈðaðɨ], Brazilian Portuguese: [sawˈdadi] or [sawˈdadʒi], Galician: [sawˈðaðe]; plural saudades)[1] is a Portuguese and Galician word that has no direct translation in English. It describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic or deeply melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Grief, Healing, Memory, Past Facebook Post | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

One More Day

Posted on January 21, 2014 by edcol52

January 14 I walked out into the warm Los Angeles morning today. The lemon yellow sun was streaming clear low winter light from the perfectly blue sky. I asked our rabbi, who had come over to visit us, how can … Continue reading →

Posted in Friends and Family, Friends Write, Grief, Healing, Honoring Jake, Jake Colman, Memory, Past Facebook Post, Support | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Arrangements

Posted on January 21, 2014 by edcol52

January 13 Bittersweet. Today we went to “arrange” for Jake’s marker stone. Looking at fonts, finishes, stones, working out the text, like we were designing some ghastly business card. Just another surreal episode in this Bizzaro world we now inhabit. … Continue reading →

Posted in Ceremony, Friends and Family, Grief, Honoring Jake, Jake's Spirit, Memory, Past Facebook Post, Sadness, Support, Tragedy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pizza Quest

Posted on January 21, 2014 by edcol52

January 12 Today was by turns a bit better and just as bad. We went for coffee along Abbot Kinney, just to get out. It is difficult to walk around in this new world, but necessary. The coffee wasn’t very … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping, Daily Ramblings, Food, Friends and Family, Grief, Healing, Jake Colman, Jake's Spirit, Memory, Past Facebook Post, Sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dreams

Posted on January 21, 2014 by edcol52

January 6, 2013 I have had dreams of restaurants every night this past few days. Last night, the dream included the submarine ride at Disneyland. Jake loved eating out and at one time wanted to build his own submarine. Go … Continue reading →

Posted in Food, Grief, Jake's Spirit, Memory, Past Facebook Post, Sadness, Tragedy, Visions | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

First Shabbat

Posted on January 21, 2014 by edcol52

January 3, 2014 We had our first Shabbat dinner since that terrible day. Laughter and tears as we shared memories. Speaking of Jake in the present rather than the past helped and hurt both at the same time. Helped because … Continue reading →

Posted in Ceremony, Coping, Friends and Family, Grief, Honoring Jake, Jake's Spirit, Past Facebook Post, Sadness, Tragedy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment